1) Whales are Mammals
Whales are not mammals. They live in the ocean so they are fish. If I put a sail and a harpoon gun on my car and drive it down the jetty into the harbor does it become a boat? Of course not!.....but a car with a harpoon gun (note to self, rivet one of the spare harpoon guns to wife's car.)
2) Whales are Highly Intelligent
Here is another myth perpetuated by the "Save The Whales" bleeding heart lobby. My crew and I have performed thousands of experiments on freshly captured Whales and in not one of them have the Whales displayed any semblance of wit or intellect. That is unless bleeding and thrashing around are how you measure cleverness.
3) A certain well known 'Scottish' fast food chain is getting ready to market Whale McNuggets
It wasn't a myth until 35 Sea Shepard fruit cakes picketed the McHeadquarters and chained themselves to the McCEO's McLimousine. Now we have to start negotiations with a new restaurant chain. (Note to self - see if the domain name www.KFW.com is taken.)
4) A group of Whales is called a Pod.
Only when they're in the ocean. Otherwise they're called a refrigerated shipping crate of Whales.
5) Juvenile Whales are called 'Calves'.
Normally we call them veal.
6) It is possible to eat a balanced diet without eating Whale.
Countless studies have shown that man has evolved in such a way that only Whale meat can satisfy all the nutritional requirements of the human body. I have petitioned the authorities to have the water supply fortified with Whale blubber so that the entire population can experience the health giving benefits of Whale. Thus far my efforts have been in vein, mainly due to the selfish elite in power who refuse to share the life giving miracle that is the juice of a of minced up Whale.
7) Whales make great gifts as pets.
Only Hitler would give someone a Whale as a pet. In fact only Hitler times Stalin to the power of Mao Tse Tung would even dream of doing it. You make me sick.
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